Are we alone in our suffering?
It is essential that we revisit what suffering means by going back to its roots and not have it misunderstood as pain. A colleague of mine believed that we do suffer alone because “even if we were to share with others what we are experiencing in suffering, there is always a layer of repression that never truly communicate what it is” (Beltran, 2019). I have moments where I spill my guts and tend to overshare, as one does, and even then, I don’t feel like I’ve fully articulated “this thing” that has happened to me, leaving me to feel more alone than ever. Every once in awhile, you come across something or someone that bears resemblance to your own suffering that you’re able to find some closure. But then you’re struck by another tragedy, and you find yourself right back where you started.
Even though we may never fully understand what the other is going through, it’s not our responsibility to do so in the first place. Seldon (2019) argued, “Our sufferings are our own and there’s only so much we can communicate to begin with.”
On the contrary, I was reminded by a couple friends that despite our unique circumstances, the degree to how feel is almost the same. In other words, we are not alone in our suffering since “there’s a unity across people, in the sense that empathy and sympathy tells us that suffering in general is universal” (Iturriaga, 2019). We bond over pain and it brings people together, which further cements the existing relationship.
While there’s truth in having to face your demons on your own, one should always be reminded that we never have to bear our burdens alone. After all, we get by with a little help from our friends.
